European Eli – Now remember kids it’s called a “living wage.”

Little European 3rd graders – a living what?

European Eli – “Living Wage”

1 Little European 3rd grader – I want my teddy bear.

European Eli – you can have your teddy bear back when you’re done shooting this commercial.  

WOW – what a shameless display of children being used as political props.  It’s almost like Eli is secretly working with me by posting this god awful crap.

I have enought here to write 10 posts!

Kids with a speaking part get $100 but have to practice their lines everyday for 2 weeks after dinner.  The kids that just sit there and bounce a ball or something silly like that get paid $50 but didn’t have to show up for rehearsals for the 2 weeks prior to the shoot.  

Here’s where it gets interesting … the kids that were paid $100 had to pay back $30 in taxes.  The kids that are paid $50 pay $10 back in taxes.  Both groups still have money one group made $40 net just sitting on their ass the other group nets $70 but had to work longer, later and harder.

So one group works their ass off and makes a cool $30 more than the other group. On their way out the door each kid needs to pay a taxi $10 to get home.  The kids that netted out $40 say ‘hey! all our rides cost $10 and I don’t think it’s fair because a $10 fee costs more to a kid making $40 a shoot versus a $10 fee to a kid making $70 a shoot.  I think the kids that earned $70 should have to help pay for my ride home – say another $5.  Now money is extorted out of the kids that netted $70.  

So now the kids are waiting for their taxi and because they are big fans of the Green Party they start to smoke their weed.  Eventually they get hungry and need candy … Together they all go to the candy store across the street and ring in $10 worth of candy, soda, and corn chips.  But now one of the shit head kids that didn’t make as much as the kids with a speaking part complains that his little brother who is too young to do anything can’t have candy because he has NO money at all … He’s too young to work.  He goes on to say that the rich kids should fork over another $5 to pay for the kids that have no money.  

Now the rich kids are saying ‘hey we don’t have that much cash left either and we already forked over $30 to the government to take care of the kids with no money?  Why are we being pushed again for more cash.  

Enter Roseanne Barr.  Roseanne! Roseanne! Scream the kids making less than the other child actors.  These rich child actors won’t share their money with us!  Roseanne says ‘oh – you have a case of the 1%’

The 1%? What’s that, the under privileged children ask.  Roseanne explains that the country’s top 1% earners are the “1%” and they are mostly “Child Actors.”  And these rich fat cat child actors don’t pay their fair share.

But wait a minute says one of the highly paid child actors … Roseanne, you too are an actor and you also make incredible bank?  You live on sprawling nut farm and have so much money you can just snap your fingers and run for president of the United States?  How the hell do you get a free pass?  How much do YOU pay in taxes Roseanne?  

Roseanne lashes out, calls the child a rich fat cat and starts shouting over the child.  How dare you ask me how much money I pay in taxes?  I’m not a rich fat cat “Child” actor, how dare you ask me how much I pay in taxes!

I could write more but who am I kidding, no one’s reading this anyway.  And I’m not sure how to wrap this up … other than with an Eli joke.