How the story in today’s Globe should have read:
Kerry, Brown Announce Agreement on Pelt-Trading Iniative, Coal-Drilling-Nuclear Subsidies
(WASHINGTON Jan 23, 2010-Michael Horan)–Senator John Kerry announced yesterday that in the wake of Scott Brown’s election as junior Senator from Massachusetts, he’d be withdrawing his support from the Kerry-Boxer climate bill and, instead, promote a raft of new legislation “which will constitute a comprehensive, long-term plan capable of supplying America with its energy needs well into June.”
Kerry called for “The re-vitalization of the centuries-old trade in animal pelts–that’s an industry which shows real growth potential. Oh, yeah, and subsidizing of coal mining, drilling for offshore oil, and building the most expensive nuclear power generators the world has ever seen–because we stand second to no one when it comes to cost-overruns. No more shall we allow self-centered concerns with the survival of the planet to get in the way of the will of the American people. Mining, drilling, and generating radioactive waste–that’s what makes this country great.”
Surrounded by the CEO’s of various companies including Exxon, ShellOil, and BPL and flanked by Newt Gingrich, Sarah Palin, and James Inhofe, Kerry went on to declare that “no more shall the American people be held hostage by the chains of the past or the arrogant claims of `science.’ The election of Mr. Brown has made it clear that the weak legislation we were jerking around with needs to be watered down further so as to ensure that the fine corporate citizens with whom I stand here today can top the record-breaking profits they showed last year. Americans have spoken: science is hard. Money is easy.” At that, he was interrupted by the assorted dignitaries, who uncorked champagne and broke into applause and cries of “hear, hear!”
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