(the only thing that makes me the least bit hopeful about what’s happening in this country is that as the “old dogs” who refuse to be taught new tricks are dying off, one by one, the country is coming around to some positions of justice, compassion, and rationality. – promoted by eli_beckerman)

On December 6, 2010 a three-judge panel of the Ninth Circuit Federal Court heard arguments on a possible appeal of a lower court ruling that the Proposition 8 ban of same-sex marriage in California  was unconstitutional.  The hearing was televised on CSPAN.  It was fascinating to watch.  Although it is very captivating to listen to highly-reasoned highly-articulated courtroom discourse, I realized that the arguments being made were re-hashed from the first days that the issue arose.   We’re keeping lawyers and pundits busy for many many years.  

My husband and I can now travel to any part of Canada and Mexico and be recognized as a married couple because those countries’ federal governments acted quickly and proactively to instruct their respective provincial and state governments to recognize same sex marriages.  The rulings were on constitutional grounds that are very similar to what is being argued here.

Neither of our two neighboring countries’ governments enacted the equivalent of a ‘Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA),’ although there were attempts to do so.  The Act was rushed through Congress and signed by Bill Clinton when it was believed that Hawaii would institute marriage equality in 1996.  DOMA prohibits the federal government from recognizing my marriage, and also allows the same refusal to other states who wish to discriminate against marriages such as mine.  Massachusetts, which instituted marriage equality in 2004, has filed suit in federal court, asserting that DOMA is unconstitutional.  A lower court ruled in Massachusetts’ favor this year, but the Obama administration has appealed the decision, so the slow churn continues.  Contrary to the belief of some, there is no obligation for the Obama administration to appeal the ruling as it did.

Until justice is done my husband and I must file separate federal tax returns.  He must also pay taxes on the benefits his company provides to me, the most substantial of which is health insurance.  These benefits are not taxed when the spouse is of the opposite sex.  It is a liability of several thousands of dollars a year in our particular case.  We suffer unfair unequal treatment because of DOMA.

The path to marriage equality has been a long one in this country, especially compared to our neighbors to the north and south.

In Canada marriage equality was first introduced in Ontario in June of 2003, and then recognized nationwide only two years later (July 2005) after various judicial and legislative actions.  

In Mexico, the path was even quicker.  Courts in Mexico City allowed same sex marriages to be performed there in March of this year.  Five months later, after individual Mexican states began the process of amending their state constitutions as some US states had done, the Mexican Supreme Court intervened (Aug 2010) and declared that the Mexican constitution required a Mexican state’s recognition of a same sex marriage from an outside jurisdiction.  Perhaps the Mexican Surpreme Court realized what a litigation mess things were up north.  Mexico City is the only place in Mexico at the moment where a same sex marriage can be performed, but all other Mexican states must recognize such a marriage.  (One Mexican state, Coahuila, allows civil unions to be performed.)

I accept that there are people who oppose same sex marriage.  I even know some gay/lesbian people who are against same sex marriage, believing that marriage is an institution for ‘straight people.’  This should remain a personal question rather than a civil question.  These people who are ‘against’ marriage equality are free to choose not to marry someone of the same sex.  There are also heterosexual couples who choose not to get married for a variety of reasons.

For me, I often look back on a note that I penned after my marriage on August 22, 2005.  It reminds me of a very happy day for me and of the proud moment in history when Massachusetts led the way on this issue.  I was pleased to see on Wikipedia that the number of countries that perform same sex marriages has grown considerably in the last few years.  I applaud those who continue the political and judicial fight for these civil rights and am pleased to affiliate with the first political party in the US – the Green Party of the United States – that placed marriage equality on its platform.  I believe that the only other party who has joined the greens on this issue is the Libertarian Party.

In fact, Bob Barr, who as a Republican in Congress in 1996 was the author of DOMA, publicly reversed his opposition to marriage equality when he left the Republican party in order to receive the Libertarian Party’s nomination for the president in 2008.  On November 12, 2010 he called for the repeal of DOMA.